when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
