We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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