..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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