i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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