nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize