I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
