Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
