So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
worst night to have a conscience
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
