we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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