didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
