idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
