No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize