I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
