If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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