Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize