these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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