I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
