i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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