I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
