1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
