i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
