He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize