I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize