ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
high people should be assigned attendants
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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