If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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