there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
