i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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