Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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