Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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