watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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