Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize