Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
