walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
