When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
