yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
