im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
