Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
