I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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