garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
