i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
