But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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