I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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