true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
