Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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