I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Randomize
