So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
