on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize