weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize