Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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