Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
