If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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