Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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