Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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