What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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