just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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