No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
