Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
