She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
