you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
