how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
