grandma shit on top of the toilet
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
this just has baby written all over it
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
