If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
