um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
