I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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