Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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