I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
